dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
