Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
