Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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