Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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