dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
