If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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