Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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