Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
