Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
