You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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