Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
