i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
