he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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