Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
