Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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