4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
