i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
