Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
