Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
