hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Everclear isn't food dammit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
