Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
