I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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