Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize