I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
