I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
