Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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he fucked my hip out of place.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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