i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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