You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize