my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
