I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
