Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
