How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
