One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
