i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
