i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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