bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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