it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
