Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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