I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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