By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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