They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
