Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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