I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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