I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
