So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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