I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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