Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I didn't notice because vodka
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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