She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
