It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
