I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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