Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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