no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
