it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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