Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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