Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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