I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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