how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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