So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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