That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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