hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
