You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
