I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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