Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
