she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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