Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize