so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
