You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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